Where you come from

By February 17, 2018 No Comments

Understanding the source of your motivations

Between the ages of 0 and about 5 years old, children are like an open book. They take their lead from whoever they are spending the most time with. That’s why a young little girl who is almost 3 will tell you that she wants a Star Wars birthday cake for her 3rd birthday purely because her 2 older cousins told her that’s what she wants. She is more than happy to go along with it. But if you ask her on her 8th birthday she will have a much stronger sense of self and will not be as easily swayed by Kylo Ren loving cousins. And this change will be down to the critical faculty. As a small child we have to take in a lot of information. Opinions and ideas become imprinted. Like a father who screams at his favourite team on the TV. This behaviour is mimicked by the child. This is an obvious example that we have all witnessed. It is the behaviours we do not see that are actually the most important. The ones that the child files away until a much later date – how to speak to a waiter in a restaurant, how to take criticism, how to have an argument. All of these types of things and more are learned through observation of the guardians.
What makes you who you are? Well the first point is to look at your very early childhood. The behaviours you saw are like the behaviours you emit now. It stands to reason that you did not lick them from a stone. You observed and replicated them. To get a little bit more specific. Let’s say your father stuck at a job he hated so that he could provide for his family. What are the ramifications on you growing up seeing that day in day out? Let’s consider the options:
You are now doing exactly the same thing for yourself and your family. This is a scarcity mentality. The idea that there is only one job that I can do so I better hold onto it just in case. This is a crazy way to live your life.
You reacted in the exact opposite way, you saw that sacrifice and somewhere along the way decided you would never do that. This could be having it’s own consequences on you now.
You don’t feel that it impacted you at all. And this could be true or it could have given you an outlook in a different part of your life. It is conceivable that you now have a short fuse with people in authority for example.
Regardless of how you would react, the fact is that you would react! There is no right or wrong way to interpret your experiences in general. However, you can start to consider the changes you want to make in your life and begin by asking yourself where those behaviours came from in the first place.

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