Reasons you might feel bad, pt. 2

By January 24, 2020 No Comments

Get part 1 here


What do you want? Do you know? Why are you reading this series? If you are looking for answers go look somewhere else this series is not for you. I do not have any answers for you. What I have is a ton of questions. I cannot give you the answers because I don’t know you. I do not know your particular situation. And even if I did, what would you want? Just for me to tell you what to do? How long would that go on for? I’d have to tell you what to do until one of us died. That is not fun for anyone. No.


So all I can do is pose questions to you about why you are feeling some sort of pain in some area of your life and suggest some questions that you can answer for yourself and apply to your own situation. Then again maybe you are not feeling pain of any description, maybe you are curious about how the people with extraordinary lives do it. 


Have you ever noticed that most self help books are written by someone who has overcome some horrendous event or series of events in their lives. Usually the books are incredible, the stories amazingly uplifting but in the end I always found them lacking in actionable content because I could not relate to the person on a fundamental level. Stories of people going from homelessness to being millionaires or having a terrible childhood to having a life of abundance. I am in no way looking to undermine these giants of people but I sometimes found their learnings about the world difficult to apply to my own life. Purely because I had not experienced what they had experienced. I often wondered where the self help book was for people who wanted to get from a pretty good life to an extraordinary one. Couldn’t find one so I wrote this. 

I have always had a curiosity about understanding people and really to understand myself. I have always been ‘hyper self aware’ and aware of the interactions of others. This had always led me to want to understand motivation. And I don’t mean motivation to lose weight or earn more money. I mean the motivation to do whatever it is that you are doing. If you are eating the wrong food – what is motivating you to do that? If you are constantly going from one disastrous relationship to the next – how do you pick ‘em? What is motivating us to make the decisions we make? Why am I writing this series? What constitutes a good day and how do I have more of them? Doing something great and interesting today is fantastic but do I want to do it everyday? Then it just becomes mundane and predictable and (whisper it) a job. But then again what if I could do absolutely anything? If I had the means to go anywhere and do anything, what would that entail? 


Something else occurred to me around that time – we’re all different. I know. Shocker. What I mean is that I realised that we all have different understandings of what a good day is. Think about it, you and your buddy can go to the cinema together, watch the same movie and come out with completely different opinions on it. These opinions are what make the world go ‘round. What if we all could understand that good days are possible for us all if we just change the way we consider situations. And that is the thought that has driven me to write this series. What if we all understand that everyone else in the world wants what we want…to have a nice day as many days out of the week as possible. 

If you string enough good days together, you have a good life. If you have a good life you can springboard to an incredible life. I almost unconsciously began observing myself and others to see how they reacted to events and whether they allowed themselves to have a good day. 


Bus driver or CEO, teacher or astronaut – we all want the same thing. Think about your day so far to this point. What did you do to end up reading these words? What about events that happened to you in the last week? Has everything gone to plan? Was there even a plan?


I have a theory that most people if not every person wants the same thing. When we wake up in the morning, pull back the covers and put our feet on the floor, we all just want good things to happen for the day and then we want to go back to bed. It really is that simple – we all just want to have a nice day. And for that we need to understand the parameters of the game….

Stay tuned for part 3

There are times when we are not having a nice day and so we look for distractions. Some nonsense game with 4,000 levels takes on supreme importance in our lives. Or we just have to watch the latest boxset about the 4 guys who are all single and their hilarious escapades. It is not living, it is distraction. And distraction is ok from time to time but the more of it we get the more of it we need it seems. How often have you sat down to watch your favourite program, and I mean the one you have been looking forward to all week, but you do it with some other electronic device in your hand. (OMG! Kevin it’s like your #totes in my house/apartment/cardboard box). It’s *you’re. Anyway, why do we do it? Why can we not focus on one thing at a time? It is because we are not giving ourselves time to step back and say “what the fuck am i doing?”


The issue is that we all do it in different ways. We’re all trying to do it in different ways while interacting, climbing over each other and shoving our faces into everyone else’s lives as you go about your day. And what is an even bigger issue is that a lot of us have no idea how to go about doing it. So to answer one of my own questions, why am I writing this series? Because I have to, it’s in me. Because I believe I can help others to enjoy life one day at a time. And because I think I can make a serious amount of money from it. That last one is a joke. Kind of. 

What was the last conscious decision that you made?


Think about your toes.


Scrunch them up tight and then relax. Think about the weight of your tongue in your mouth. I bet you’ve never thought about that before. (Supposedly when you are in space your tongue is weightless and when you return to gravity you have to get used to it in your mouth again!) When I ask you to consider these parts of your body you are drawing your conscious mind to them. Now think about your thoughts.


When you wake up in the morning consider the thoughts that you have. If you wake up saying ‘oh for fuck sake, i’m still here’ then something needs to change. You control your own thoughts, no one puts thoughts in your head and tells you what to think. Just like emotions are not some alien force that arrive from outer space. 


During the course of this series I am going to share with you a theory I have about how people live their lives. I call it 4Levels Theory. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. It will at the very least give you a way to think about the world you live in and give you an angle to approach it at. I believe that we all live our lives on a combination of different levels. Each of these levels have a sliding scale attached. So as well as being on different levels, we are also positioned at different points on each level. And at the very very least, you will have bought one of our courses and I will have your money. So every cloud….


We’ll get into it in more detail as we go but for now:


To me it is a game. On one level it is very important what you decide to do with your time because ultimately it is your life. Then again, what you or anyone does with their time and life doesn’t matter at all. We are essentially advanced monkeys on an average sized rock hurtling through space. It is a game but then you have to think about the Parameters of that game.

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